OBESE PEOPLE  (i.e. people over a defined weight) should have to pay an excess same as overweight luggage.

BBC BREAKFAST PROGRAMME, the one where they sit on the settee. It’s getting more like a Nanny state programme…they will be telling us when to blow our noses before long.

CHINESE FOOD…NO it isn’t. It is westernised and adjusted to someones idea of what we would like. If you have lived in the Far East as I have you would know the difference.

MOANING MINNIES of the volcanic ash situation…I admit a large group of people were disadvantaged and found themselves with problems returning to the UK. BUT the others that moaned and complained that the Government should be helping them out.WHY? Stop whinging, sort yourselves out and treat it as an adventure and use your own initiative.

TV ADVERTS for some Law Firms…the ones saying ‘We are lawyers dealing in so and so" No YOU ARE NOT, YOU ARE ACTORS, you are playing a part, you are NOT lawyers

PEOPLE who tell me ‘It is alright for you" WHY IT IS?

TOP GEAR…the programme..3 grown men shouting and showing off and who have to be surrounded by sycophantic idiots with overlaid canned laughter, combined with an occasional bimbo blonde to fulfill the role of token female.

JEREMY CLARKSON…..I worshipped him from afar when I was younger, thought he was sex on legs for years. But grow up elegantly Jeremy!! Having said that, your books and writing are BRILLIANT.

CHINESE WHISPERS..I live in a Spanish village with a growing Ex pat community…Chinese whispers are rife i,e, ‘Send reinforcements, we are going to attack" quickly becomes ‘Send three and fourpence, we are going to a dance"…’nough said.

ISRAEL..I love Israel but I don’t like or agree with what they are doing with regard to their neighbours and the Gaza Strip in particular.

PEOPLE who enquire for holiday rentals saying ‘have you anything available June or July?……WHEN in June or July?  These are the same people who can’t be bothered to tell you if the plane is late.

JEANS…for men….older men….they NEVER fit…why not? Sit and do some people watching..airports are good for this (particularly when waiting for people who don’t tell you the plane is late).  There are some really good looking older men, but do their jeans fit? NO THEY DON"T……the crutch is half way down their legs and their backsides are covered in bunches of denim. WHY????

The wheelchair is kept in the back of the car these days as I never know when I have to say ’sorry, can’t do it today’, but I AM striving to be up on my own legs/hips as much as possible.  IKEA is still one of my best places to shop - they have available wheelchairs for the use of, though being of a slight build and only 5′ tall their chairs are too heavy for me and I prefer to use my own wheelchair as I can get myself around fairly quickly (hence the broken rib a month after I broke the hip!).

My days are still not all good ones, some are still bloody awful.  Days when I can use the leg/hip and days when it has to be rested completely and days when I cry for no reason and feel a complete waste of space - but these days pass.  I know I push myself too far, to go through the pain, but a lot of this is to simply satisfy other peoples opinions, but sometimes I can’t get through that barrier even to please them  These are the people who consider themselves either members of the medical profession and they tell you that ‘they say you have to be up and moving around i.e. 4 weeks after breaking a hip and the day after breaking a rib?  Or the keep fit brigade who insist on telling you about exercising….excuse me, isn’t that something the consultant should be telling me. Neither of these groups ever listen to you and what you are trying to say and they even make their comments ‘over you’ to someone standing near.  These ‘well intentioned’ (HA!) people  know nothing about me, what my pain tolerance is, what I have done and what I have been told officially, they know nothing of the fact that I have myself worked on a Surgical Ward and also in an Operating Theatre and I know precisely what had happened and what the prognosis is. They know nothing of that fact that I prefer to let my own body advise me as it surely knows what it needs. The ONLY thing these people produce is rather dangerous advice and the ability to deliver guilt.

I mentioned before that for the next 4 years I have to take a weekly dose of strong calcium.  Before I decided to take this, I did my own research into the pros and cons of the substance which seemed long term to be fine. But one aspect NOT mentioned was that it would send me to sleep!! Sometimes I sleep most of the day after I have taken it! Got it sussed now though…get up in the middle of the night, take it and go back to sleep, waking up then at a decent time.

My hip had broken…or, to be more precise..it was the top of my right femur, just below the ‘knuckle’ part that fits into the hip socket which had snapped.

And who do I blame? The owner of the dog which had shit on the pavement…I am not going to beat about the bush - it wasn’t poo, nor a’ mess’, it was shit…fresh and loose. And I had slipped on it.

Read on…to view a letter I had published in one of Gibraltar"s newspapers - a mornings shopping? I think not, not on that day

 
"I address this letter to the dog owners of Gibraltar…please clean up the s..t (mess) left by your animals…BUT in particular I am addressing the owner of the dog who walked their animal along the pavement on the opposite side of the road behind Morrison’s’ Petrol Station.  I crossed the road using the pedestrian traffic-light system, reached the other side and slipped on some rather fresh s..t, breaking the top of my femur and putting the hip out. DATE Friday 11th December 2009 TIME approximately 10.15am/10.30am.
 
Because of your sheer irresponsibility my quite active life has gone on hold - NO walking for 6 weeks minimum for a start, having to conduct my life hopping on one leg, using a walking frame and sitting in a wheelchair, knowing that I have only a 65% of complete healing.  I am normally in control of a few businesses…acting as a ‘fixer’ between clients, I am a freelance photographer, plus co-managing weekly Craft markets.  None of these activities can be successfully achieved hopping around for five minutes maximum on my left leg.
 
I trust YOU will have had a very merry Christmas and will be looking forward to a very healthy New Year!
 
To conclude, I want to publicly praise and say thank you to 1) the three women who rang for the ambulance: 2) the man who wiped the s..t (mess) from my trousers: 3) Jenny and partner, the crew of the ambulance and last, but most certainly not least, to the staff of St. Bernards Hospital and to give praise for the expertise of the A & E Unit, but especially to the surgeons and staff of Dudley Toomey Ward for taking care of me - an active 67 years old female, who lives a two hour drive away in Spain, who only came down to Gibraltar for a mornings shopping.  And finally - to thank my life partner who is going way beyond his call of duty!!"

6 WEEKS LATER…..and no weight has gone down on that right leg…the left leg has got much stronger and likewise my upper body strength. I have been using a walking frame and also a wheelchair…and many other adventures and incidents have happened.  Three days after I arrived home…well not quite home as our house has two flights of stairs in it and no use when hopping on one leg and maneuvering a walking frame. So instead I moved downstairs into my rental house CASA SANDRA (see www.Spanish-hols.com) as this is all only one level and easier.  In the first couple of weeks I had to have 10 injections to stop thrombosis…….luckily we have a friend who worked in the UK as a nurse and he came every day to administer these (the Health centre thought John could have done this….they may have thought but I certainly didn’t!). Then Xmas Day arrived..otherwise known as the Day of the Wimp..which was D Day for taking staples out of my leg. I was terrified and all to nothing.I didn’t feel a thing!…and apparently I have ‘a lovely scar, the surgeon did a brilliant, clean and neat job! Maybe I should show it off at a couple of euros a time!

I took to the wheelchair like a duck to water….to well in fact..I broke a rib doing handbrake turns and speeding!!  Still, one battles on and a couple of weeks ago we went out a couple of  hours drive inland (no, not totally in the wheelchair!) to have lunch with some of J’s friends who he met while covering a week of hard running which his son did…J acted as one of the stage controllers. It was lovely weather when we set out but after an hours driving we were into snowy fields and icy roads. On the return journey we hit a blizzard and the car came off the road into a ditch!  No harm done to the car or J or me…we were pulled out backwards which was when I lost control and became a total whimpering heap…..heading backwards towards the other side of the road which had a unguarded drop of god knows how many feet was staring me in the face and was not where I wanted to be! All the shock of the unresolved breaking of the leg plus heading backwards to who knows where had finally got to me…I was a whimpering mess.  We eventually arrived home some 5 hours later having hit a tailback of at least 1 1/2 hours on the motorway.  I can assure you that it took 4 duvets and 2 pairs of socks to get that leg warm again!

Any road up, all is on the mend now, ribs on the mend and hip coping.

The main problem has been getting out of the house and up a very steep cul de sac in the wheelchair.  It is impossible for J to do it alone which means someone has to asked to give him a hand……my local nurse is mostly on hand for this and it then becomes hilarious as I am giggling all the time. The SMART car can be got to the top of the cul-de-sac which is brilliant and once in it the world then becomes my oyster again and IKEA in Malaga has once again become my stamping ground.

If ever you want to learn how to cope with being in a wheelchair then get yourself to any IKEA…it is the best shop to take yourself shopping…wide isles, good for turning, helpful staff, wide lifts, large toilets for the disabled….

A couple of things I have noticed about being wheelchair bound and they are…..most people DO NOT look where they are going, they DO NOT notice you and sometimes when they do they still keep coming and even resent the fact that YOU are in THEIR way. Many people are just the opposite, they are helpful, reach things for you, pick things up for you, smile and open doors.

And I have noticed that in some of the disabled toilets, yes the facilities are really good, BUT the doors are so heavy to open to get in and the same when you want to come out…because the chair itself gets in the way, you have to try and push the door at the same time as propel the chair and it becomes impossible.  

Many places, like restaurants, do not cater for disabled toilet goers….the door frames ain’t wide enough. Some shops, if you want to pay by card, can’t lower the card machine to you to tap in your PIN number and some shops don’t tidy up, leaving bits and pieces all over the floor.

Plus..things to think on when you break your leg…… wear something with pockets in as you can always pop bits and pieces into them when hopping around on the other leg and using your walking frame……..always put your knickers on the broken leg first, then onto the good leg and when taking the knickers off, the good leg comes first and then the broken leg…and the same with trousers!

Always (if you are female) wear your makeup, especially the old eye shadow etc………..flirty eyes and a smile works wonders and makes miracles happen.

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to arrange the 6 weeks x ray to see how it is healing and what minimum exercise (if any yet) can be done.  I WILL KEEP YOU INFORMED.
 

‘LOCO’ LOCUM (Doctor)…21 January 2010

My recommended 6 weeks of complete rest for the broken hip is up this week so an appointment needed for the first xray..and this calls for a meeting with my own doctor, who is lovely but is also a training doctor and takes loads of students.

It was one of these students that I saw…I was sitting in the wheelchair before her desk and on stating that I had come to make the appointment for the xray was asked WHY? Well, like Why I have broke my leg and had an operation. Again, Why the xray? Because I have pins in the leg. Again, WHY? You don’t need an xray. Yes I do, No, you don’t. Just get up and walk!!!!!! More or less, take up thy bed and walk………..like NO I have pins in the leg. So, walk and stop being silly you have only had an operation!!!!! Is she mad or what?

Anyway, just as she had done with the four patients before me, she rushed out the room, carrying the paper I had had from the surgeon in the Gibraltar hospital and went downstairs. We came to the decision that she was a really rookie doctor and had to keep asking advice from a doctor on duty downstairs in the Accident Department of the Health Centre. Also, I am certain that also on duty downstairs was the ParaMedic who speaks and reads English…the one J saw when he went down there to arrange for them to take over control of my treatment. We are certain that this ParaMedic told this loco locum to arrange an xray and stop acting as God telling people to ‘Take up their beds’ etc.

Her attitude had changed on coming back into the room and she reluctantly said that she would give us the number of the Nerja Health Centre who do the xrays for Torrox and I now have an appointment for two days time. But she ended up with saying that the plates of the xray have to come back to HER and SHE will then decide if I can see the Trauma (bone) Specialist at the local hospital.

If I lived in the UK I would certainly be putting in a complaint against her, but not worth the hassle here  BUT a complaint will certainly be going in to my own doctor when I next see her.

Keep reading……when I will disclose the results of the xray! (I didn’t think it was worth mentioning to this mad woman that I also had a broken rib (and why) plus I would need xrays at 6 months and also after one year!!!

THE 9 WEEKS SITUATION…February 14th, 2010

The 6 weeks xray was taken and low and behold I have TWO, rather LARGE, like at least 5" long screws in my leg! These go in from the scar on the outside of my right leg and head diagonally towards the groin where they are screwed in… like large screws going into a piece of wood, or something like a builder would use in the construction of a house!

Years ago I worked in a hospital Theatre and know all about the use of Black and Decker drills and super glue..I now have the aftermath of the use of these things in my hip! It’s amazing!

Anyway, on February 8th I had an appointment with my own doctor.and guess who was sitting side of her? Yes, the Loco Locum! Different attitude altogether, yes she could speak English, yes, she was caring and yes she was really nice!!

I have osteoporosis.

The xray showed not only the screws, it showed very clearly that the right hip/leg is transparent..no bone density. The left hip/leg? Fine, at the moment it is as it should be.

Osteoporosis? The invisible disease. I have been avoiding this issue for 4 years. Pushing it to the back of my mind, something that affects other people . I broke my left forearm four years ago and was told then that I had this ‘invisable desease’. I NOW know I have. The xray cannot be ignored. The further risks of accidents, limbs giving way under me cannot be ignored. I left the doctor feeling this is it and this is where I am at.  I can now accept it. It is not going to change my mind on how I deal with the rest of my life. I am still going to have adventures, traipsing round Morocco, returning to Israel, even still hoping to get into the Gaza Strip. I just have to change the ways of doing it. Have you ever read Frank Gardner’s account of what happened when he was shot in cold blood on the streets of Saudi Arabia and how he deals with two useless legs? Brilliant and powering. If he can cope, then so can I…..I only have Osteoporosis, so bring life on. What  I still find hard to accept is the way it happened…..not falling off a horse, not sky diving, not on the front line in a war zone. No, it was dog shit.

The situation now?  I am walking quite good, with one foot in front of the other, using the walking frame. Weight  is starting to go down on the injured leg, I can go up and down two steps,  AND I can do two or three steps using only one hand on the frame. I am doing daily exercises (found on the net written by The Chelsea and Westminster Hospital. PLUS I have an appointment to see the Orthopedic Surgeon at Velez Malaga Hospital on 8th March and I have been put on VERY strong weekly doses of Calcium for at least the next 4 years.

And my next ’step’! We live at the bottom of a very steep cul-de-sac so when I get out I have get pushed up it in the wheelchair and then get into the SMART car which can get up the steep village streets and can be put at the top of the said cul-de-sac. It is my aim to walk up that cul-de-sac….sideways to start with, holding onto the handrails… looking like a frog! But get up it I will……..Frank would and so will I.

Look in again in a week or so.

end of April 2010

A lot has gone on in the past few weeks - slowly, slowly and sometimes excruciatingly painful and so slow a snail would have rushed past me. But the challenge I set myself at the end of the last entry - getting up the cul-de-sac - got achieved - painfully walking sideways like a crab but ACHIEVED!  It became the first of many personal goals reached….moving back into my own home, tackling to sets of rather steep stairs, getting onto the terrace, pegging the washing out, standing in the shower……… and flying to Morocco!

Moving back upstairs became somewhat of a self-imposed necessity - I decided because I had been living downstairs, that walls needed re plastering/painted/new boiler installed/changing bits and pieces and overhauling the cottage and giving it a fresh and slightly different image - some pink walls here and there and lots of wrought iron work hung around ….Moroccan!!

I had arranged for the builder and  therefore had set myself a deadline - I also wanted a shower! Strip down washes are all very well and just meant reverting to my childhood days spent during the 1940/1950s…no bathrooms, no indoor toilets and not a lot of hot water but no problem either BUT i wanted to feel water running down my back!!, So, jimjams on, out front door,grasp hold of handle on the wall, haul myself up, in our front door, haul self up the first flight of stairs, generally collapse in the bathroom and get under the shower. Oh, the bliss, bliss, bliss it was sheer delight!

And day by day things have been improving. I have now had 3 meetings with the Orthopedic Consultant (each within 4 weeks of each other). I was told to keep weight totally of the leg/hip for another month..and how difficult was that after been used to doing my own thing and trying weight out.  On my next visit I was prescribed a pair of elbow crutches and on the last visit he witnessed me walking with just one crutch (I am a danger to myself and everyone around me if I use th pair).  Early days he said, just now will take time and go easy. Next appointment made for 6 months time..in October 2020.  AND not only do I have two large screws in the hip/leg..I have THREE!! I sometimes say they are breeding and that it is sometimes SO SORE that I think they will BURST out - and make their escape by flying, with all attached blood and gore, over the village!!

Morocco was a great moment - not the first visit for us, more like the sixth - but this time I went in the wheelchair.Great time. Ryanair from Seville to Marrakesh. Help every inch of the way - from the moment I went inside Seville Airport to leaving Marrakesh Airport on our return - security/passports dealt with/total assistance from boarding gates to being carried on and off the aircraft.  Couldn’t have had more proof that you can do anything IF that is what you want to do. I have not found any problems to which I couldn’t find a solution.

So, now I am making a closure on the time since I slipped on that dog shit back at the start of December 2009 AND opening the next phase and chapter of my life …UPRIGHT AND ONWARDS anyway but DOWNWARDS…join me?

Being a photographer (aka Alex Berry) it is a magical place for me, with the old streets, the run down areas, the parts hidden away, the crumbling buldings. Where your imagination can run wild and where you can sit and dream. I love it!  Many are the times I have caught the bus from the village of Torrox where I have lived since 1992. Arriving at 9.30am in the morning, the whole day spreads itself in front of me. Complete with camera and sandwiches, money in my pocket I have hours in which to just indulge myself in this lovely city.  How I am awaiting until I can do it again because with breaking my hip in December 2009 these trips out alone have been impossible………outings have been taken to the DIY shops and IKEA in Malaga……….couldn’t manage alone in wheelchair and now with elbow crutch BUT soon, soon!

Anyway, imagine my finding something, a booklet, which has added more to my enjoyment of this lovely place. The booklet ‘Footsteps through the city of Malaga’ is just the icing on the cake.  It is a handy size for pocket, handbag or backpack.  It is centred essentially around the old part of the city, starting by the lighthouse and close to the castleand takes you on a walk through the most delightful prts of Malaga, while at the same time bringing together many of the city’s historical, religious andinteresting places……

…..andwhen you need to sit and rest for five, then the booklet presents you with the unusual and sometimes unknown bits of information of the city -tales of shipwrecks, spies and conspirices, burials on the beach, floods and German bridges.

The booklet allowsthe walk to take as long asyou want it to…do it in a morning OR let it take a whole day OR days OR over a period of time…tuck "Footsteps through the city of Malaga’ into your pocet, bag or wherever and take it out again when the mood takes you. And, as the booklet says "just follow the footsteps" and let your journey begin.

And now for the SELL!! The booklet is available from many outlets but why not buy from me? And why from me? Well, as they say..I know the author. Infact had a long coffee break with him only yesterday (May 20th, 2010),talking of many things, including his next guide.

PRICE and details…..5 euros plus post and packing. My details? email abizzyb@hotmail.com or phone 004461711115.

Picture the scene.  Bert’s heard from his mate (they both race Whippets, silk scarves, cold wind, up on the hill) of somewhere called Torrox Pueblo (oh dear, sounds a bit odd already). Could be OK for the Wedding Anniversary, 25th, coming soon, should I risk it, bit of a surprise for the wife? The mate says Give it a go, especially as he says he knows someone who lives there. Someone who is a Pottry lass, you’ll be OK"

Bert thinks he will try and live a bit dangerously and books a week. But, he also thinks he will keep ‘is cap on, pack his ‘anky (white, knotted), socks and sandals, but he wonders if there will be egg and chips.

 Well, the time has come and Bert and Ethel arrive, hot and very flustered.  The mate has already rung me (warned me, more like) - ‘couple of werriters’, keep an eye of ‘em as they worry a bit but show them a bit of what real Spain is all about.  They’re OK, cup of tea sorts them out and when they realise I come from where they do, well I’m well blessed! AND I can even speak the same language! Settle them in, good nights sleep and tomorrow I will walk them through Torrox, show them the hidden squares and corners, the colours, the friendly people, but warn them about the fierce heat of the summer.

This forthcoming 25th? I have decided to take them on a TAPAS TRAIL around the village. Won’t that be a shock? Foreign food? Eaten among a load of foreigners?!!!!!! Oh dear!

Tapas are the small snacks which often accompany drinks (either free or sometimes a small charge). The word ‘Tapas’ originates from ‘Tapa’ i.e. a top and referred to a covering on the top of your drink to stop the flies getting in. Nowadays the word is used to mean the small side dish of food and is usually  served in either a round or  oval ceramic dish.  It is sometimes the choice of the bar man (free) or ordered from a menu of Tapas (paid for). 

The idea/aim of Tapas is to have something to nibble on before your main meal (and to a Spaniard this is around 10pm) and usually in a working class village like Torrox Pueblo Tapas are taken about 7pm, when the man has finished work for the day and after he has been home and had a shower.

The range of Taps is huge and varies between bar to bar, village to village, town to town, Provence to provence. The basic ones are crisps or a chopped salad (sometimes with bits of octopus..oh dear Bert and Ethel!) and sometimes an oyster like shell fish, which the locals swallow raw!  As you enter most bars you will see on the top of the counter a long, dome covered container and it is here you will discover a range of Tapas, all freshly made each morning, usually by the wife of the bar owner.

Anyway, the Anniversary Day has arrived and so have Bert and Ethel, thankfully with no knotted hanky in sight. Though they do look a bit anxious. In the past we have counted 26 bars in Torrox Pueblo, but I am not taking Bert and Eth to all of them, just a couple of ones in the main square and a couple up the older part of the village, maybe hidden behind the plastic curtains. After a drink or two, taking in the walking couples who pass around the square,  a couple of moans at the start from Bert about ‘this beers nowt like The Trumpet in ‘anley’ and Ethel sipping her orange juice, we have arrived at El Capau, a VERY Spanish, VERY working class, few foreigners, bar. where I have known the owning family for years. In fact they taught me a lot of the language, including discussions with the Dad about my love-life and the fact that he thinks I need a Spanish lover! By this time, Bert is getting ready for anything, including trying the beautiful Jamon Serrano (raw ham to most Brits). This is dry aired cured leg of a pig and is really lovely, especially served with one of the very dry Spanish white wines, which even Ethel is having a go at….she does look rather relaxed!!

So, did our pair of intrepid travellers enjoy the night? The answer he gave his mate on returning to downtown Stoke was ‘Bring it on’!!!!

the clean smell of a baby or my cat who smells just as clean,,,the voice,eyes and hair of Neil Oliver from the TV series ‘Coast’…the sound track of the 2009 TV AD for Mercedes Benz…adventures (I love adventures)…the sound of helicopter rotor blades (thud, thud, thud)…the power, determination,concentration of Rafael Nadal (tennis player)..and the dry humour and New York accent of John McEnroe…chocolate…

I like my own company………..maybe something that comes with getting older, but I am very comfortable being alone, I find contentment in doing my own thing. Perhaps being an only child ‘helps’ because then my friends were dolls, books (and I love, love, love reading) and jigsaws.

Celtic music and northern dialects,..articulated lorries,…slate roofs in the rain in northern England…wind farms…Harrier Jump Jets…the crunch and colour of a wet pebble beach.  Cranes on a building site and the Gantries of Harland and Wolff in Belfast.

I like markets…the ones found in English country towns, craft markets, Farmers Markets. I like them to the extent of running one on the coast. Along with my ‘business’ partner Rachael, we hold a weekly market on a Wednesday down on the beach in El Ancla Bar, Torrox Costa. We have a lovely bunch of sellers, who surprise you with their talent. It has been running now for a few months but WE NEED MORE BUYERS!.

I love the markets in Morocco (where we visit OFTEN) but there they are known as SOUKS. And what a hustle and bustle they are, full of both people and businesses, workshops, water sellers, funerals come through with coffins held high. The colours, the noise..wonderful.

And someone saying "I’ll take you to the end of the world".

………………..there will be more!!!

SOME MORE…

Idris Elba…my newly chosen close body protection officer! He will not be at all conspicious when I am wearing purple with a red hat and spitting in the street! I also love his BBC1’s series ‘Luther’…

…sitting watching the ocean and dreaming…the colours of Morocco…Berber tribesmen wearing turquoise with white turbans…interesting people who do interesting things (like two female middle aged lawyers I know..one of which goes into Gaza and the other helps middle eastern immigrants into Amercia…..and who one would take them to be your aunts)….Germaine Greer and women like her…Andrew Marr (now there is a sexy man..Helen Mrran and I agree on that)

To the uninitiated in the life of Pepe, best to read what I wrote in 2007 and then catch up with today’s news at the end….

As I say, when sober he is lovely, little man…all 5′ft of him is kind, gentle, quiet. No bother, no noise, no shouting, screaming or banging. BUT when drunk he is the same as drunks the world over, argumentative, noisy, shouting..with added yelling and screaming from the wife.  All this at the top of their voices, out in the street, really just your average ‘little domestic’ to be witnessed anywhere. How I wish my spoken Spanish was better, I could tell what they were saying then. But I suppose it would still remain a mystery as the local Spanish, when ‘upset’ (!) speak in a dialect very few foreigners can get a handle on,.Rather the same I suppose as when I speak to my immediate family back in Stoke-on-Trent, because who, except for a native of Stoke can understand Pottery speak?

We’ve known Pepe, his wife Lola and their family (at that time) since we first arrived in Torrox Pueblo, Andalucia, in 1992. They were a lot quieter then and he did seem to be going out to work. Whereas now, he seems to spend his time, when not drunk and in the street, up in the Campo (countryside) where I believe they have some family land. Lola has never looked well to me, not a bit of weight on her and her legs and ankles, well there’s more meat on my cat! I don’t know how her legs support her. Please don’t ask about the state of her teeth (not many) or her finger nails (filthy). But a caring woman,as she demonstrated a year ago when I broke my left wrist and she was in tears when she saw the arm in plaster. When we first met them they had 5 children, but another little one was born after we had been here about 3 years. It seemed to be a family of two halves, the first half being three girls all in their teens, then there was something like  a 10 year gap, and then the 3 last children arrived. Very difficult to try and find a way of asking someone who lives around the corner why was there a 10 year gap? Did they live in the same house for those years? Did they never ‘get it together’?(!). Even now my Spanish is a lot better, it is a question I have never really got round to asking. However, I digress. The three younger children, like their mother, were never well, plus the kids all had something the matter problems with their eyes. The older girls all seemed well and quite healthy and are all now married with children of their own, the eldest living in Nerja and the other two living in Torrox Pueblo. Then very strangely about 2 years after the last child was born, all three of the younger children were nowhere to be seen. It seemed that the parents had a long history of drinking and were often visited by Social Services, who it turned out had decided that the younger children could no longer remain in the home and were taken to a place of safety. Word on the street is that the parents don’t know where the children now are, but that they are all together in a very nice  and supportive foster home a good way away.  The older girls, who by that time, had moved out of the family home, did try and get custody of their younger siblings, but to no avail.

Any road up, as the years past I think both of them upped the drinking stakes, the arguments got more and the shouting and yelling got louder. On really bad occasions our other Spanish neighbours became involved, joining in, sitting on the steps, mulling it all over either between themselves or with Pepe and Lola. It would all get settled and silence would reign for a couple of months.  Then it would go off again, he would be holding court round one of the local little bars (holds two standing, guests have to sit outside!),Lola would be hiding round a corner watching and shouting abuse, with the next thing being that you would see her early in a morning coming up from the square carrying bottles of beer for their breakfast. Don’t think much food was bought in that house, although he did bring lots of veg and eggs from the campo……and this is an example of his kindness when drunk. …a few years ago I fell almost outside his door and ripped all the ligaments etc., off my ankle.  There I was, this foreign woman, sitting in the street, howling in pain, tears streaming down my face, and he came out and was at a complete loss as to what to do with me. It was obvious that he wanted to help me and he said the first thing that came into his head…….’Did I want an egg?’  At that time, no I didn’t really. But on me saying me, the offer was upped to two eggs. After some serious negotiations, I settled for 6 and away he went to put them in his pockets so they wouldn’t get broken. As I say, when sober………

It was only last year that the Police first seemed to get involved. I went up our cul-de-sac one morning, turned the corner, puddles of blood, bloody hand prints all down the street.  Someone, i.e. a drinking friend, had knocked on their door in the early hours, Pepe had hit him on the head with a frying pan…..as one does! In circumstances like this best if the Police are kept informed! The blood stayed there for a couple of days until one of the Spanish neighbours gave it a good scrub. Pepe was taken off for a few hours and on his return up came the mate with head cleaned up, they made up and off they all went.  Since then the drinking, both of them, has continued, the rows have carried on, Lola seems to have been in and out of hospital and looked worse all the time. Pepe has been talking to the walls, the road and anyone who happened to be passing.

It all came to a head last Wednesday night. I put out rubbish out at the top of the street and was surprised to see a load of women sitting on the stoop in front of Pepe’s door, all talking. I immediately thought ‘My God some body’s dying’ as it is the custom when death is close for people to sit outside houses (if one didn’t know one was at deaths door, you soon would when all these people suddenly turned up and sat or stood outside your front door). Anyway, I thought no more of it until coming back from shopping the next day to see two Guardia Civil Officers outside Pepe’s door.

It seems as if the evening before he was his normal drunken self, had come home, knocked Lola out of bed (and because of her continuing ill health, she was now sleeping in a hospital bed in the front room, just inside the door), smashed her head on the floor. This time not the local Police came, but the Guardia, Injunction Order imposed, Pepe is now banished to the Campo for the next 3 months, Lola has been stitched up and peace and quiet now reigns in the street. But for how long? When he is ‘in his cups’ up in the campo, do the Guardia really believe he will not get on his moped and make a visit to his wife?

To me, this is all part of my life here in Torrox Pueblo, especially as we live up in the older part of the village. Life is out on the streets here, loud and for everyone to see and hear! I really wish my Spanish was better.

2010…..and things seem to have really changed in the life of Pepe and his family…at least outwardly.  In the three years since I wrote the above only rare glimpses have been seen of any of them around the village.  One of his daughters works as a Care Assistant and she is the only one that seems to appear in the village streets as she goes about her work, especially at the top of our cul-de-sac when she comes and cleans for another Lola.

Pepe occasionally comes to his ’shed’ across from us, where he can be heard muttering to himself as he TRIES to find something among all the rubbish and straw and god knows what that has been kept in there over the years.  At one time there were even turkeys kept in there, only glimpsed when he opened the door, but heard often! None of that has gone on for ages. Sometimes one of his friends has been seen going in and out of the ’shed’ but never seen to be putting in or taking out anything.

Anyway, about 2 months ago now (february or march 2010) his daughters suddenly appeared …and how they have grown up…..and all with children of their own.  The three girls all spent a couple of days in the house which is just round the corner from ours…cleaning, scrubbing,painting.  They had all their kids with them and what a change that was to suddenly hear the sound of them playing and shouting. This went on for a few days and then they would all disappear for a couple of days and then they would be back.

I thought it was going to be Yolanda coming to stay…she, I think, is the middle daughter (married while in her teens, had two children, then her husband was killed in an accident on a construction site..and she is still very young, just early twenties I would say) but it appears I was wrong. I now think it is the daughter who works around the village…hard work to get a smile out of her. But they don’t stay long, sometimes just overnight, sometimes they are all here for a couple of days, sometimes not. Somtimes a man appears, sometimes not. Sometimes it seems to be weekends, and again sometimes not.

And then the other morning, I saw Lola, the mother. Standing in the doorway of the house, dressed in a linen trouser suit, hair shiny, looking healthier than I have seen her for years……..though only one side tooth in her mouth!  Since I broke my hip in December of last year, we have been parking the SMART car (the only type of car which can do these streets) at the top of the cul de sac. As she saw me slowly making my way to the car, she was full of one tooth smiles, giving me hugs and holding me tight, saying she knew about my accident and whooping and whaling because I couldn’t walk properly yet.  Not seen her since!!

Pepe? Not seen hide nor hair of him……..I will keep you informed.

Thy find thyself bereft,

And from the goodly store

Two loaves alone are left.

Sell one, and with the dole

Buy hyacinths to feed the soul.

 ………….

June 6th 2010

……Best friends never tell each other that they’re best friends, they just know.

……Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.

……A good friend sees your first tear, catches the second and stops the third.

……A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose and hard to forget.

……Onwards, Upwards, anyway but Backwards.

……No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

……One had to pay some price for being able piss standing up.

……Fools talk, cowards are silent but wise men listen.

……Waiting is the rust of the soul.

……I married Mr. Right. I just didn’t know his first name was ALWAYS.

…… Where there is no path, follow your heart.

……No one will win the battle of the sexes, there is too much flirting with the enemy.

……Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, rhuematism may set in any day.

……Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest.

……Age is something that doesn’t matter - unless you are a cheese.

……Never argue with a fool as people may bot know the difference.

……Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

……To travel alone is to take a jouney into yourself.

……I like you very much……….a lot.

Some say tarot cards originated in ancient Egypt, others say Gypsies were the first to use them. Whichever, Tarot cards are commonly used for prophesying and have become a popular hobby particularly in the West.  They are to be found everywhere..from dimly lit fortune telling shops and booths to adolescent sleep over parties.  The true history of Tarot cards is as mystic and controversial as the cards themselves…

The "Visconti Trumps (Tarot)" appeared in 1440 as a card game favoured by the Italian Noble classes.  The twenty two cards of the Tarot (called Major Arcana) are believed to be based on these cards.  The Visconti Trumps were not used for the purpose of prophecy, they were created merely as a game for passing the time.

In the late 15th Century, the Trump cards re-appeared as a newly standardised deck and were highly controversial as many nobles at the time were offended by the introduction of such cards as The Devil, Death and The Tower.  Religious leaders warned against using the cards and claimed that the Devil himself created the Trump cards.  Although at this time, the cards were still only used for playing card games, conservative leaders of the time were convinced that playing with the Trump cards could cost you your soul.

The Trump cards seemed to all but disappear until the late 1700s, when, for the first time, they were used for divination.  Antoine Court de Gebelin, someone at the forefront of the Tarot card rebirth, claimed the cards were of Egyptian descent (being specifically designed by the Egyptian God, Thoth).  At this time, many secret societies embraced the Egyptian occult and began producing their own Tarot cards. 

The belief that the origins of the Tarot were Egyptian continued until the late 1850s when it became popular to link Tarot cards with gypsies and fortune telling.

The Tarot cards used today are highly artistic and symbolic in nature.  The is due to to the revisions done at the turn of the 20th century by Smith and Ryder-Waite, which allows the ‘reader’ to extract meanings from the clear symbols on the cards themselves.

Today, there are many hundreds of different decks of cards, each incorporating more modern values in religion, sexuality and human nature…in fact Tarot cards have now become a medium for beautiful works of art and are reminders of the importance of symbolism to the human spirit across time and space.

So, the question is… Do you believe or not?

I do.

The Tarot cards used today are highly artistic

Knew I hadn’t  written anything for ages, but what? It’s been over six months?  Six months!  Where has the time gone? And for goodness sakes, what have I been doing?

Well, as far as I can remember, and the old memory is not what it was, Xmas was spent in Morocco..seems like my second home, Morocco for birthdays, Morocco for Xmas…and going again in August (yes, for the old birthday again). However, Xmas 2008 took the SMART car over (otherwise known as ART the SMART) and didn’t he cause eyes to stare..the kids thought he was out of the Telly Tubbies TV programme and seeing as though he is akin to a real person (told you I am going senile!) didn’t he just love it! The journey took us from Ceauta across the Moroccan border and down to Fez. We saw some sights and did some things but you will all have to wait for the book to come out as I’m telling you nothing!

February saw me linking up with friends to have stalls on Torrox’s Saturday morning market which is held in the main square….me with my photography and hand knitted scarves, Rachel with handcrafted items like lavender bags, cards, pin cushions, felt needle cases (the two of us spend many an evening round her table cutting,filling and tying up the lavender bags and making the pin cusions) and Jan (ex Galleria) selling off the surplus from the shop. 

Though Jan is back in the UK now, Rachel and I are still there, every Saturday morning….the stock has developed and grown, my scarves have been put away till October so I am concentrating on the photography…and we have added genuine Amani and Boss clothing to our range, which we also shown at house parties and in a cafe/bar down on the coast where we organise a weekly market.  We have been joined by Sue, the monkey lady…..no, now don’t go there! Sue makes Phunky Monkeys out of socks…new socks…no thinking of donating your old ones, it doesn’t work that way.. and she is now branching out into making FeekIts…and I have it on good authority that it does not mean what you think!

Time just seems to have rushed by and I am now feeling that a ”dog chasing its tale’ with my hearing going and dizzyness coming. Went to the hospital last week and apart from being convinced that the specialist considers me  a typical menopausal woman with nothing to do except imagine I have ringing in the ears…of course what other thing would I be doing with my time…I now have to ’swill the blood round my head’..he didn’t go as far as to suggest I spend my time standing on my head instead I have to take medicine twice a day.  He also thinks I am depressed! What? I haven’t got time to be depressed, what’s the matter with the man?

So, hope I’m roughly up to date with you all. Summer has come and hit Torrox with it’s full force…yes, it’s hot!  The rental business, or should I say, my rental business is doing quite well, always need more though, so the lot of you WHERE ARE YOU? Come and experience Torrox for yourselves.

Oh, yes, before I go…..apart from the above I have a Writing Course being held here July 27th for one week. My friend Deb Sutton from Buxton, who is a qualified Writing Tutor and published author, is coming to teach it, so anyone interested and who reads this almost immediately, contact me and book a place.